Long Distance Relationship Diary. Chapter 1: Does It Really Get Better?
Let’s start with a bit of background.
By summer 2015, my boyfriend (hereby referred to as “J”) had plans to move to New York that fall. By the end of summer, in August 2015, we started dating. Due to work (on both sides) and school (on my side), neither one of us could move to be with the other, so we started off long distance (he lived a couple hours outside DC before moving to NYC) and it has been DC to Manhattan ever since.
Our first non-DC apartment was in the Financial District. Say what you want about FiDi, but to this day it holds a very special place in my heart. Since then, I would say that the majority of my Sundays have been difficult as Sunday has more often than not been the day that either J or I needed to leave.
During the first year of long distance, whenever I was teary I was told “it will get better.” Now, four vacations, six planes, three apartments, four moves, two New Years, three friends’ weddings, and approximately one thousand two hundred and eighty seven “is one of you planning to move?”s later, it honestly doesn’t feel that much better.
Has our relationship changed since FiDi? Absolutely.
Has it gotten stronger? 100%.
Do I feel any different about the distance? Do good byes hurt less?
Here’s what I can tell you about long distance relationships: in order for them to work, the cumulative positive emotions that you feel as a result of being with your significant other need to overwhelmingly outweigh the negative emotions that come with the distance. Good byes are always going to be hard. How can they not be when you are leaving someone you love? Those good byes, though, are never going to feel justified if your hellos aren’t a hundred times better.
There is no question that things will be better once we are finally living in the same state, but all the things that happen in between, well, that’s another story . . .