Long Distance Relationship Diary: Reflecting
While organizing all my photos and making photo books during quarantine, I have come across countless pictures from when my husband and I were long distance. (For those who don’t know, my husband and I were long distance at the very beginning of our relationship for 2.5 years (you can read the rest of my Long Distance Relationship Diary series documenting my thoughts while long-distance here). This year, we will have been together for 5 years.)
I think now is a very appropriate time to reflect on those 2.5 years, given that we are currently in quarantine and going through our first year of marriage stuck at home together, literally 24/7 (if this doesn’t break us, nothing will, am I right?!). If you ask me, I think it’s a nice juxtaposition and the perfect way to bookend the 2.5 years we have spent living under the same roof after 2.5 years of being long distance.
Let’s talk about what it was like being apart. Things I don’t miss about being long distance:
- Living out of a suitcase;
- Getting motion sickness twice every other weekend on the bus and/or train;
- Wiping away tears from missing someone so much while simultaneously falling asleep on Skype;
- Counting down days until I get to see my loved one again;
- And too many more.
Truly, the only thing I miss about being long distance is the fact that I had an excuse to go to New York City so frequently (I also had a place to stay when I went there, and although that’s also theoretically a huge positive, I have to consider the amount of money we are saving living together instead of living in both DC and NY so I don’t actually think having a place to stay is a positive).
Here’s the thing about a long distance relationship: it teaches you a lot. Making the effort to go back and forth between two homes and committing to someone despite all the difficulties that come with so much travel is a great way to figure out what that relationship is worth to you. All the time you spend alone and missing the other person also teaches you to appreciate the time that you get to spend together, even after you actually do end up in the same place.
As of writing this post, we are starting week 13 of quarantine. We went from having to travel hours to see to each other to not even being allowed to leave the same home in the span of 2.5 years, and I can honestly say that I am not even slightly sick of my husband. In fact, during quarantine, I have been reminded so often of how I would have killed for the opportunity to be stuck in the same place as J when we were long distance, which makes me appreciate even more how lucky we are that we are in this together.
Do I think being long distance improved our relationship? I can’t say for sure. There are a million things that we have gone through that have impacted and improved our relationship. What I do know is that it got us to where we are today and because of that, I wouldn’t change 2.5 years of long distance for anything, no matter how difficult it was.
So this is the big moment. The moment when I answer the question I posed in Long Distance Relationship Diary Chapter 1: Does It Really Get Better?. I started my relationship with J by jumping headfirst into a long distance relationship, committing to traveling across multiple state borders if I wanted so much as a hug from my boyfriend. Having gone through that for 2.5 years, I ended up where I am today, on the other side, cherishing every quarantined minute with my husband.
Come on Giulia, just answer the question! Does it really get better?
I don’t think it will come as a surprise to you if I told you the answer is a resounding yes.